All Alefs are hard

Here's something else from my Midrash writing group. To make sense of it, I should say something about the way we work. The general theme of the year is the prophet Habakkuk. Each week we study together either some part of the biblical book or some other text connected to it, and then we use what we learned as a starting point for our own writing. On this occasion we learned this Midrash from Shohhar Tov, otherwise known as Midrash Tehillim:

על משמרתי אעמודה ואתיצבה על מצור. מהו מצור – שצר לו צורה ואמר: איני זז מכאן עד שתענני, שנאמר ואצפה. אמר הקב"ה: כל מי ששבר קרדומו יבא אצלי?! התחיל צווח: עד אנה ה' שועתי ולא תשמע וגו' למה תראני און ועמל תביט. אמר לו הקב"ה: 'הוי רב את יוצרו חרשׂ את חרשׂי אדמה' (ישעיה מה), בן תורה אתה ולא עם הארץ אתה! לך כתוב אל"ף בלוח ואחר כך תאמר הודיעני את הקץ!.. וכן הוא אומר: ויענני ה' ויאמר כתוב חזון ובאר על הלוחות.

This is not the easiest kind of text to translate, but let's make a brave attempt

I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower [Hebrew: matzor] (Habakkuk 2:1). What is matzor? He drew a shape (Tzar lo tzura) around himself, and said "I will not leave this spot until you answer me, as it is written and will look out to see what He will speak by me.

The Holy One, Blessed Be He, said, "You can't come running to me with every little problem!".

Habakkuk started to scream and shout, as it is written (Habakkuk 1: 2), How long, O LORD, shall I cry, and Thou wilt not hear? … Why dost Thou show me iniquity, and beholdest mischief?.

God replied, "Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker, as a potsherd with the potsherds of the earth! [Shall the clay say to him that fashioned it: 'What makest thou?' Or: 'Thy work, it hath no hands'?] (Isaiah 45:9) Are you a student of Torah or an ignoramus? Go practice writing the letter Alef on your writing tablet, and then ask me to tell you my long range plans for the history of the world!". So it is written (Habakkuk 2:2): "And the LORD answered me, and said: 'Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables"

So, I picked up from the sentence "לך כתוב אל"ף בלוח" (which is rather obscure; I've translated it here "Go practice writing the letter Alef on your writing tablet", assuming that the intention is on the lines of God's speech from the storm in Job 38 and following: "You are asking questions about things which you know as much about as a total illiterate knows about Torah"), wrote a dialogue between God and Habakkuk taking it in a rather different direction. For fun, I decorated it with lots of different Alefs, or letters derived from Alef.

On rereading, I'm not very happy with it. After the initial אָלֶ״ף/אֶלֶף misunderstanding is cleared up, the dialog more or less goes round in circles. Habakkuk has some good questions which I wasn't able to find good answers for to put in the mouth of God. <teaser>I had a similar problem with a later piece that I will put in a future post, this time a dialogue between Habakkuk and Elisha on the perils of learning Torah</teaser>

There are some typos and mispointings in this version: I need to upload a corrected copy